Fun but emotional evening

Well it's the first time I've ever helped decorate for Christmas at my mom's house without her. I picked up Larenz and Shakiya and we helped my dad decorate the house. Him and I both had quite a few emotional breakdowns and just stood there staring at the tangled Christmas tree lights crying. I'm glad we chose to decorate though becuase I know it would make my mom happy. She loved decorating the house for Christmas....she always made it so beautiful. I think we did a pretty good job but no where near how nice it looked when she did it. I try to pay attention to the little "signs" that I think are her way of letting us know she's still with us. We have the same bag of ornaments for the tree that we've had since I was a child. Well as my dad handed the kids ornaments to put on the tree, he pulls out a small angel that neither of us have ever seen before. Just a simple little angel and printed on the angel's skirt it says, "Cindy"....my Mom's name. I burst into tears. We have no idea where this ornament came from......neither of us have ever seen it before. That just can't be a coincidence......had to be my mom's way of letting us know she was with us tonight. I hung it at the very top right next to an ornament that my aunt made in rememberance of my sister Kellie. It will be my mom and sister's first Christmas together in 3 years......and for that I'm thankful. Christmas will be very different this year, but I hope we can create new memories to help get us through these emotionally draining times. I miss you mom........I miss you Kellie.......Merry Christmas.

And a Merry Christmas from Kaybie, Bruno, and Atreyu.

Long time, no posts

Well I'm going to try to get back in the swing of things again with posting more regularly. Summer has come and gone, and now there's several inches of that yucky white stuff on the ground. I HATE winter. Chris and I have plans to move to California before next winter so I'm hoping this will be the last winter I see for a while (besides coming back to visit)! So what's been going on since last time I posted. Well, my job that I was at for 4 years is no longer.....the company is doing terrible and did another massive layoff and I got cut in this last round. So now the job search is on. I'm sure something will work out and I'm applying everywhere. I've even started applying out in California and will work out the details if something out there works out. Otherwise, not much is new. All the doggies and kitties and Chris and I are doing great.....oh!....just realized that I haven't introduced our newest addition! I was driving home during the summer and running full speed through a very busy intersection, runs this beautiful little doggie.....by the Grace of God, he didn't get hit, but he was headed full speed towards one of the busiest streets in town......there was no way he would have made it if he got on that street......so I drove up next to him and eventually got him to come to me.......he was scared but very friendly. After having no success finding his owners, we took him to our vet and he was a mess......he was flea infested, worm infested, fly bites on his ears, and was a good 10 pounds underweight. Well we got his medical stuff all cleared up and in the mean time, we fell in love. He got along great with Kaybie and Atreyu, so we decided to welcome him into our home. Introducing our pitbull mix, Bruno.......he's around a year old.








We had a very good Thanksgiving and went to Chris's Grandparent's house to celebrate together. I got to meet his sister for the first time and that went better than I could have hoped for.....I really like her. It was just a really good time hanging out with family. It was different this year being the first Thanksgiving without my mom......but I was glad to keep my mind occupied so I didn't sit around crying all day. I sure did miss helping her get the food ready to take to Thanksgiving. I used to help her do the mashed and sweet potatoes while she was upstairs stressed out trying to finish her makeup while we were all running late. Those little memories sure do just set you over the edge. I am Thankful that Kellie won't be spending any more holidays without my mom as it use to make me feel very guilty that we were celebrating holidays together while she was alone in Heaven.....so the fact that they are back together gives me some peace. Anyways, what else has happened. Last weekend, Chris made me one heck of a proud girlfriend.....he graduated college. I don't think he'll really ever understand just how proud of him I truly am. It was an honor to walk in his shadow that day. If you're reading this, I'm utterly proud of you baby. Now it's on to bigger and better things for the both of us!
Christmas is coming up in a matter of weeks and I'm no where near ready for it. My mind is torn becuase I'm excited to wake up Christmas morning with Chris for the first time in our own home and start our own Christmas traditions, but I'm so sad to spend my first Christmas without my mom. She loved Christmas. She loved watching us open gifts and going shopping together. She spoiled me rotten and still bought me gifts like I was 5 years old. It's not the gifts I will miss this year, it's just her.....I can't type this without crying my eyes out. I wonder if any holidays will ever feel like they are supposed to ever again? Chris and I are going to put our tree and decorations up tomorrow and I'm hoping that will help to get me more in the holiday spirit. I'm going to go help my dad put up his tree this weekend........it was always something him and my mom did together and I know we are just going to stand there in the living room and bawl like big babies together.....but together, we will get through this.....somehow.